fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
