The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
