ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize