apparently the secret to your success is patron
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
