Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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