She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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