you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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