kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize