at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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