Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
