apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
