just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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