She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize