THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
