I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize