so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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