Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
false alarm. still invincible.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
