I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
