He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
