remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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