He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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