I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So many bounce houses so little time
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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