he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
