she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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