Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
