where am i from again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
