Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
