M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
