The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
