What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
