he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
