we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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