I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
