we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
