If that was your dad, he is hot
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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