left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize