its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he high fived his dick after we had sex
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
