need another drink. this is the easiest way
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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