My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
