It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He? As in you personified your dick?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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