Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
