worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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