WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
