Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
