I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
