I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
