Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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