I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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