Nicole vs. Life
Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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