Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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