If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize