1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
