Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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