Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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