508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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