how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
