Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
