So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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