what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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