She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
