you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
