OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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