WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize