I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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