I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
