id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
