she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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