i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
