WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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