Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
