The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dick very happy bro
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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