apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Congratulations! We have a period
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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