she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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