How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
