i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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