My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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