I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
