i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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