So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
