She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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