I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My feet surprised me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
