You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
