even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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