Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
